Fighting The Dark Side
by eclyptyk neo
Summary: Nine years later after the death of his Master, QuiGon Jinn, Obi Wan Kenobi is faced with the nightmare all over again of seeing his Master's death. ObiWan is confronted by the words of his Master of the future. What is he trying to warn him about?
1. A Place To Relax

**FIGHTING THE DARK SIDE** (PG)

By: Flip-Wan

Author's Email: jediflip1fanforce.net  
  
Summary: Nine years later after the death of his Master, Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi- Wan Kenobi is faced with the nightmare all over again of seeing his Master's death. Obi-Wan is confronted by the words of his Master of the future. The powers of the Dark Side cloud his future and even his apprentice, Anakin Skywalker, can feel the power of it.  
  
Disclaimer: All recognizable Star Wars names, places and resources aren't owned by me, but by the great Jedi Master himself, George Lucas and Lucasfilm Ltd. Nothing was settled for me to get paid to write the story out of his characters, but only wanted to write it because the Force was telling me to–and one cannot deny the call of the Force. It calls, I follow. To those who have contributed to the Star Wars genre in any way, I give you credit, too. Unfortunately, for me, the idea is my own under my label of Flypsyde Pryde Production (which isn't in existence–but will be).  
  
Key Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Sywalker, Qui-Gon Jinn  
  
Spoilers: "Caught Between Feelings"--if you haven't read that story, this may be a little confusing.  
  
Genre: AU  
  
Time Frame: Nine years after TPM. Obi-Wan is 34 and Anakin is 18.  
  
Feedback: Yes; please.  
  
Author's Note: Be aware that the rumors sparking up about the climax battle of Ep. 3 is noted in the story. If you aren't much on the spoilers, don't expect to read this. But I guess that's more out of your own free will. Again, indicates the bond shared by a Master and their apprentice. Things in italicized and color () indicate thoughts or words from that certain person. The voice indicated within : : is that of an evil being of the dark side – Obi-Wan's dark side.  
  
**_Part One: A Place To Relax_**

For once, Anakin didn't have to stay in the interior of the Temple. Even if every now and then, he and I were sent out on a field mission, it was good to be out of there, for both of us. I could tell he was confused at where we were going. I only directed him to follow me out for a walk. Knowing Anakin, he'd follow with just as much confusion and anxiety as someone who didn't seem to care much. They were always lost among themselves, before getting the answers they had wanted. He followed close behind me, in silence.  
  
Anakin had grown to fit the look of an eighteen-year-old boy. His hair was cropped in the fashion as a typical human Padawan and he had eyes that could, easily dart from place to place without problems. He has come to be a favorite to the Council. That's not any surprise to me. First off, he was a quick learner. Much quicker than me. He has become quite the lighsaber wielder, but nothing like Master Qui-Gon or Master Yoda. There is some cockiness in his style, with the tight-fitted Jedi uniform to reveal his well-toned muscles underneath. I guess I don't blame him for that, I'm sure we're all like that at times.  
  
As for me, well I had grown into the more mature look of a wise Jedi. Now, sitting at the age of 34 standard years, hair reaching the top of my shoulers and a bread, which I kept unkempt. I'm not lazy, it just matched the hair. Many Jedi would say I was almost the spit image of Qui-Gon Jinn. I would have to disagree. I loved the man, don't get me wrong, but the look...well, I guess I have to owe some credit to him for that. It's not that I thought leaving it short would make me look like a padawan, I guess, I still needed to honor him. Now, that he's gone. One with the Force. I still have nightmares about that day, and even if I prayed it would all go away, it wouldn't. It won't and I'm not ready to let it go.  
  
The only sound came from our footsteps and swishing cloaks among the conversations of others around us along the pathway. Onlookers stopped with fear of thinking we were there to stop them from doing something illegal. It wasn't that way at all. I just needed some time to relax.  
  
Anakin leaned in, and whispered into my ear. "Don't you think we're making a scene, Master?"  
  
I continued to walk along the pathway, this time closer to the view windows set along both sides of us. The pathway was long and stood in midair along the high class of the planet. It formed a circle around the entire Senatorial District. "I see nothing wrong with a simple walk, Anakin."  
  
"But what about every--"  
  
I stopped and looked at the young Jedi. He stood up straight, his eyes wondered. "Why are you making them a part of our walk, Anakin? Knowing you, you don't seem to care what anyone thinks except how much of a better wielder you think you are beside Master Yoda."  
  
Anakin's head hung low. "You're right. I'm sorry, Master."  
  
I turned halfway and continued up the walkway. Anakin held his head low, and followed. He knew I knew him the best, but even there were things Anakin didn't know about me. And there was reason for that. He was not ready to hear them. He hated the fact that I would isolate myself so much in the Jedi training, but Inever did when I was in my room. He was still learning and if he can't learn to understand what I do to set him up to standards for becoming a Jedi, he won't get there any sooner. But I wasn't afraid to admit he has taught me a thing or two.  
  
I stopped as the walkway began to grow wider. Anakin peered up, and literally, felt a sight of shock and excitement. I could feel it through our bond. That made me smile.  
  
"Wow!" his voice was dry.  
  
I chuckled softly. "Surprised?"  
  
He nodded, his mouth gaping.  
  
There standing before us was a huge plaza hanging at midair. There were trees and grass with pathways leading deeper into the plaza. A fountain greeted us from the entrance. A protective shield concealed the contents of the plaza from harm of the traffic around and any attacks from outside. It was much like the Room of a Thousand Fountains but out among the walls of the Jedi Temple. It was a beautiful sight to see and the air was so much more cleaner.  
  
"What is this place?" Anakin was the first to step into the beauty of the plaza.  
  
I joined my apprentice beside the fountain. "A calm and soothing place to come to when you need to get away from the chaos of the Temple. Most of the Jedi Masters come here to meditate in ways the Temple could not provide. Even Senators come here to just talk and take in the relaxing environment of the place."  
  
"Do you come here, Master?"  
  
"Often, Anakin. It's where I usually come to meditate in my free time."  
  
"That's all you do." he said, quietly.  
  
I turned to confront him, face to face. He looked down, feeling like he had said something wrong. Which he did. I didn't take it as an offensive. It had gotten old and I was used to hearing it. "You just want me to tick like always, don't you, my young padawan?"  
  
The apprentice shook his head. "No, of course not. I didn't mean that--" he paused. He thought quickly to change the subject. "How come you never told me about this place? Or took me here before to train?"  
  
"I don't want you to think that this is a place to train. I just want you to relax and take in its contents." I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "Feel free to roam around freely."  
  
His face contorted to show some confusion, thinking I was a fool. But he surrendered and followed. I peered at him and began the walk up one of the pathways. Anakin followed slowly.  
  
"You were always one who never liked to spend time with me meditating, Anakin. You always hated them."  
  
"It doesn't mean I never do it, Master. It's just sometimes I want to do it my way."  
  
I nodded. "And that's what makes you different, Anakin. You always want to stand out, whether in a sparring drill or a Force exercise. You were always making new things in the apartment, droid parts everywhere." Anakin looked down a little embarrassed. I continued, "You never seemed to enjoy nature as much. Never liked to get in tuned with the Living Force like you should."  
  
I ignored the look on Anakin's face. He was appalled by my comment, but it wasn't meant to be offensive. Even I still had a lot to learn about the Living Force. I could still feel his crushed feelings through our bond, but ignored it. He did like to come with me to look at the stars in the Room of a Thousand Fountains on late nights, when neither of us couldn't sleep.  
  
To be continued.........


	2. Time To Talk

**_Part Two: Time to Talk_**

I found a spot in the grass along the pathway and sat down. Anakin, still quiet, followed and sat down next to me. I took in three deep breaths and closed my eyes. "Is something wrong, Anakin?"  
  
Anakin straightened and shook his head. "Not at all."  
  
"Don't think I meant those things to offend you, Anakin. I know that's what you're thinking about. But you can be trouble sometimes. And this isn't part of the training. I set this day aside for us to talk."  
  
"To talk?" Anakin choked.  
  
I opened my eyes and turned my head to look at my apprentice. "You have questions to ask me. I know. You have for a long time, but never had the guts to ask me. Well, I think it's time to ask me a few. It isn't good for you to hold back on me. I won't be offended by it."  
  
Anakin's eyes grew wide. I could tell he thought I was crazy. "Are you feeling okay, Master? This isn't like you."  
  
"How so, Anakin?" I fixed my position.  
  
"You never act this way unless you were thinking about something deeply." He paused. My face never changed expression. "You're thinking of Qui-Gon again."  
  
I shook my head. "What makes you think that?"  
  
"You're beginning to sound like him." His voice was low.  
  
I looked down but said nothing. I didn't want to admit it, but I was. It wasn't the reason why I brought him out here. I just thought it was a good idea for me and him to interact for a little bit. Or was I missing the point when two people sat down just to talk? People just don't seem to do it enough these days. There's just no time. But I'm making time for it right now.  
  
"Yes, you are." Anakin answered my unspoken question.  
  
My expression dropped instantly, my shields rose up again. "And is it bad for someone to get acquainted with a nice gesture? To just sit down and talk, Anakin."  
  
"You never seemed to enjoy that, Master. All you wanted to do was sit there and meditate or give me some lecture on why the tunics we wear are so special or whatever. We don't have that many conversations I would consider normal."  
  
"Not all the time. Remember those nights when we laid in the Room of a Thousand Fountains and watched the stars?"  
  
It grew quiet. Anakin felt like he was at a lost. He would always want me to tick, just for a second, to see my anger. To annoy and tease me like he always did. No, I couldn't do that. It all leads back to the Jedi Code and the 'Don't-Give-Into-Your-Hate' speech. Oh, no, you don't, Anakin. Not today.  
  
"So, are you?" He shot back. "Are you thinking about Qui-Gon?"  
  
It fell silent.  
  
"Are you?" He repeated.  
  
"No, I'm not. I thought it would be best for us to talk a little more on a personal note."  
  
"Personal note?" He still gave me a confused look. "Who are you and what did you do to Obi-Wan?"  
  
"Nothing's wrong with me, Anakin. You act like we've never had these kind of days--" Anakin cut me off.  
  
"We never have, Master."  
  
"Don't say that, Anakin, because we have. That doesn't matter if it wasn't a big or small conversation, we've had those. You've just been too busy working on your droids or wielding techniques to realize that," My voice rose slightly.  
  
He snorted and looked away. Again, I win. Oh no, Anakin. You will never get me to say anything unless I actually want to. I chuckled to myself and looked up at the sky. The traffic continued to flow around the dome smoothly. I sat back, leaning on the palms of my hands.  
  
"Coruscant can be so much more beautiful when it's seen through the eyes of a tourist. Of the common folk," I broke the silence. My eyes still fixed to the roof of the dome.  
  
Anakin peered over at me. "But as a Jedi you can see other worlds. Discover new species. And who knows what else?"  
  
"Only to solve conflicts and mediate problems. Once it's all over we have to go back to the Temple, and wait for another mission to be dropped into our laps. Over and over again. Where's the fun in that, Anakin? Sure, we see other worlds, but we don't actually get to explore it and take it in as a resort. No, we have a job to do. We are the Keepers of the Peace. We don't have much time to relax or take a vacation. Our job doesn't really give us much time for that."  
  
Anakin gave a chuckle, that brought a bright smile to his face.  
  
I looked over at him. "What are you laughing at?"  
  
"I would of never thought of you as much of a spontaneous explorer, Master. I always saw you as the teacher and mentor who focused more on the values of the Order than the beauty this universe holds. A man of his word and always going by the book. There's a lot of things I don't understand about you, Master. Why? Why hold it back? You never tell me anything."  
  
"I'm not hiding anything though," I said high, and suddenly, which wasn't my intention at all.  
  
He gave me a look of acknowledgment and a mischievous smile. I turned away. Oh, great. Now, he's gonna rat on me. He's setting a trap just like he was hoping. But don't think it is going to work, Anakin.  
  
I cleared my throat, quickly changing the subject. "I see you began your lessons on learning more about the opposite sex."  
  
"Oh, just hide under that denial, Master, like always. Why must you isolate yourself?"  
  
"I'm not, Anakin." I paused. Anakin leaned forward, hoping to hear the words he wanted to hear. "Isolation is for people who lock themselves away and would rather be left alone. I'm not like that."  
  
"And you seem to be that way," he mumbled.  
  
"Well, there's one thing those people always lack."  
  
Anakin moved closer to me. "And that would be?"  
  
"Trust. And respect for other's wishes. You have to understand that, Anakin."  
  
"I do, Master. But sometimes I don't think you understand me."  
  
I looked at him with some curiosity. "I don't understand you? Explain, my young Padawan."  
  
"Well, you never listen to me. Listen to what I have to say. You just don't seem to understand me like some of the other Masters do. Or even other Padawan. You act like everything you tell me has to be related to my training, but sometimes I'd like to have a friendly conversation. One that doesn't involve me at the receiving end of more training than I already have to deal with," His voice shook a little.  
  
"Then how come you don't listen to me sometimes?" I interrupted him.  
  
"I try, Master. I really do."  
  
"Well, you should try harder or you may never understand why I train you the way I do."  
  
Anakin's shoulders sunk. "Yes, Master." His voice was barely above a whisper.  
  
To be continued.......


	3. Thinking About Him

**_Part Three: Thinking About Him_**

A long silence fell over us. Several other Jedi Masters and their apprentice came into the plaza, some greeting us as they walked into the interior of the plaza. I closed my eyes again and began to calm my breathing. But there was something holding me back from reaching full serenity and calmness of a meditative state. I felt cold inside. My eyes opened as I looked down at the palm of my hands, they were sweating, but the rest of me felt cold as ice. The cold feeling I needed to let go of, but fought to keep away. Anakin's eyes never left my sense of fear. It was almost as if he was looking at me like I was some specimen getting ready to get cut open or studied. It made me shudder.  
  
"Is something wrong, Anakin?" I finally managed to say.  
  
"You are thinking about Qui-Gon." He read my emotions. "Don't. It won't do you any good to move on from it if you look at it as if you failed him. You never did. And you know that. He doesn't want you to mourn and live miserably without him."  
  
"How would you know that?"  
  
I knew a Jedi was suppose to lose his identity when he became one with the Force. No. But not you, Master. You always had to be different to ensure that you could leave such a mark on the Temple. And you did. You should be proud, but yet, you should still be alive. I've heard his voice at night when I slept, but thought that it was nothing more than the dream itself. I didn't really think so now.  
  
Anakin continued. "He's talked to me. He always questions me about why you never seem to talk to him. He always tries to make contact with you, but you just push him deeper into those other emotions of yours. He's worried about you. He thinks you just don't want to talk to him because nothing will ever bring him back. He can't help but wish to talk to you, just one more time."  
  
I shook my head. I didn't want to admit it, but I was thinking about him. For years now, I have, and the Healers could never truly rid me of the hate and anger I still have for that Sith Lord for killing him. It's just, it's never come to this. This strong and cold feeling, until now. The path that lead me into the path of darkness. I've fought it for years now ever since the first time I ever felt it. I felt betrayed by the Force when I thought it could help me. It only made this pain worst.  
  
"You loved him as more than just a mentor. He was like your best friend. A father-figure. The only family you had next to the Temple."  
  
I shook my head again. "No. Stop." The voice inside me, that inner Padawan I once was, seemed to take control of me. I was no longer the mature Knight I was now. "No. Why did you have to go? I'm so sorry, Master." I could feel the tears sting my cheeks.  
  
"He's trying to talk to you now, Master." Anakin said, quietly. "But you keep pushing him farther and farther away into those deeper feelings you're afraid to admit to. Afraid to admit to me. To your friends. But mostly, to yourself."  
  
"No. I could of saved you, Master. I'm so sorry. I lowered my defenses, lost every concentration of staying calm. Forgetting what you taught me. If I never would of forgotten, you'd still be alive. You would of accepted me into knighthood. And we could be fighting next to each other for the sake of justice and peace for the Republic. I'm sorry, Master." My throat burned like fire.  
  
The thoughts in my mind became blurs of darkness. A red and black inferno combined with a fiery pit. That same pit, that same darkness that has come to haunt me in my sleep whenever it can. Those vivid colors that special person brought was eaten up by the hate that inferno brought. The power of the Dark Side beckoning me to follow it into darkness. There, the Dark Side, a person could feel no pain, only power.  
  
"Master?" Anakin's voice was so distant.  
  
Obi-Wan. Promise me you will train the boy.  
  
Yes, Master.  
  
He...will bring balance... Train him.  
  
I opened my eyes and peered over at Anakin. There was concern and apology in his eyes. I ran my hand down my face and took several deep breaths.  
  
"Master? I'm sorry. I didn't--" Anakin tried to apologize.  
  
I brought up a hand to silence him. His head lowered. A long silence fell over us.  
  
Finally, I stirred and broke the silence. "I know I can be rather harsh on you, Anakin, but that comes with the training. A Jedi's path isn't as easy as many say it is. It takes a lot of hard work, determination and a serious mind to become one. A lot of patience and years of training. We can't expect to learn everything about the Force in one night. It's impossible."  
  
"I understand that, Master. But it's you I'm worried about. Every day you seem to be drifting farther and farther away into something else. Is there something I should know? Maybe I can help out." He offered.  
  
It brought a smile to my face. Though Anakin could be somewhat of a pain at time, he always couldn't help but try to help out or lend a helping hand. That's what made him special whether he's come to realize it or not.  
  
A smile floated onto the apprentice.  
  
"You'll become a great Jedi Knight, Anakin."  
  
"Thank you, Master. But remember, I'm taking after you, so, if I do something wrong, it goes out on you."  
  
I chuckled. He returned the favor with a brighter smile and joined in my laughter. Then we fell silent again.  
  
To be continued...


	4. What's Wrong With Love?

**_Part Four: What's Wrong With Love?_**

I looked at Anakin, who wavered the grass around us through the Force. "Master?"  
  
"Yes, Anakin?" I replied.  
  
"What's wrong with love? With falling in love? There's no attachment. There's no possession. Why?"  
  
I sighed. The way he made the word 'love' sound pierced me in the chest. I was once in love. My one and only true love. Oh, Sabé. Your warm touch, that sweet embrace and gentle kiss. I'll never forget it. I'm so sorry. I miss you. "No Jedi could ever fall in love, for it will ruin what you have vowed and promised in the Code. No Jedi shall know anything of anger. Hate. Or love. And if you were to ever get as far as to get emotionally involved, it could very well scar you to a point that could never be healed. Then it will lead into fear. Anger. Hate. And even down the Dark Path to the Dark Side. If you were to ever break the Code you could be expelled from the Order and left with some emotions you could never get rid of. If we were to have any possessions or attachments it won't be as easy to let go of as one that was never attached to anything special. It's just something Jedi could never do, unless a matter truly called for it."  
  
"But why is that? I mean, that's where the lack of adventure starts--"  
  
Again I silenced him. "Love is not an adventure but something that will pull you into personal conflict you may not be able to escape. You may be in love, true love, but after that, what will it be? What if it just doesn't last or it gets destroyed? It cannot be fixed and you will feel like no one will look at you the same way. You will never look into the brightness of day again. You will never be the same if you ever loved someone. Things happen and it will only prove that you will allow your personal feelings to get in the way of what's more important. Your job is to protect the galaxy, a commitment that longs to be broken by many, but cannot."  
  
"But why?"  
  
"I didn't make the rules, Anakin. Nor do I change them--"  
  
"You're always by the book, Master. I'm sure you broke a few rules every now and then."  
  
I eyed my apprentice, but didn't say anything. My mind was other places, but my shields were up, and he couldn't detect what I was thinking of. There was just no true way to break past my shields unless you could see deeper into my soul, and Anakin still had much to learn about that. Every emotion he gave off, I could sense, a trick Qui-Gon had taught me in my training, years ago.  
  
Anakin cocked his head a little and looked into my eyes. My face was unchanged, but deep inside I couldn't help but think about Qui-Gon. Or Sabé, beyond the shields I kept up so much. He didn't want to smile, but I could sense a feeling of victory behind those eyes.  
  
He leaned in closer. "Master, you were in love once?"  
  
"No. No." I shook my head in denial.  
  
"You're lying. You're just saying all that to scare me." A mischeivous smile came to his face.  
  
"No. I do not want to repeat myself, Anakin. A Jedi can only love if there is some strong reason behind it."  
  
He laughed. "You're denying it, Master. C'mon. You can tell me. I won't tell anyone. Who was it? Bant? Siri?" He paused. "Ooh, it is Siri! It was, wasn't it? I knew it. What happened? She don't like you that same--"  
  
"Anakin!" My voice rose with anger.  
  
"C'mon."  
  
My eyes narrowed slightly. My face grew serious.  
  
He looked away. "I'm sorry, Master. My apologies." But the smile didn't disappear.  
  
"This is exactly what I mean when people lack someone else's privacy, respect and trust. There are reasons why I tell you these--" I stopped. My head popped up, alert. Something was around, disturbing. I got to my feet and slowly looked about.  
  
"What is it?" Anakin got to his feet.  
  
I silenced him and went deeper into the plaza. I felt cold again. Hate. Anger. Haste to find the source. Something I haven't felt in a long time. Then I remembered what Master Yoda told me before I went out for the walk.  
  
A Few Hours Ago  
  
I sat cross-legged across the little green Master in his quarters and drunk the small cup of tea sitting in the palm of my hand. Master Yoda was deep in meditation by the time I came in. The green Master stirred as the cup reached the safety of my lap. He opened his eyes and stared at the floor for a long time. Then he averted his attention to me.  
  
"You requested to see me, Master?" I asked, quietly.  
  
Yoda nodded. "I did."  
  
"What for?"  
  
Yoda waited awhile to speak up. "Give into fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. The Dark Side is indeed strong. Powerful and easier to take than a path a true Jedi will take. Do not let it be your way out of things, Obi-Wan. Escape it will be too hard this time Much older you are, and so easily to turn and not come back."  
  
I shook my head, confused. "I do not understand, Master."  
  
"A clouded future for us all. But I sense it strong in both you and your apprentice, Obi-Wan. Be wary and let the Force guide you. I sense grave danger in for both of you, soon."  
  
I looked down and thought it through for a while. It wasn't that I didn't want to think about it, but about 19 years ago I had taken the step down the dark path. It scared me, but Qui-Gon saved me from turning completely, but even now I could feel its power. It was strong. It was powerful, and that's what I wanted to get, to rid myself of the pain. "Yes, Master."  
  
Yoda chuckled lightly. "May the Force Be With You, Obi-Wan."  
  
I finished the drink and got to my feet. Yoda retrieved his own cup and drank it quietly. I bowed low and left.  
  
to be continued...


	5. A Disturbance In the Force

**_Part Five: A Disturbance In The Force_**

I continued up the path and stopped in a clearing. Kids of different sizes, shape and species played, happily. Guardians and Jedi had conversations of their own in the distant.  
  
Anakin made his way up beside me. He felt lost and confused. "What is it?"  
  
"I sense a disturbance, Anakin." I took a step forward.  
  
"You are thinking about Qui-Gon, Master. You said that last time when you were thinking about him. But there's nothing more here than just kids."  
  
I shook my head. There was nothing that was going to change my mind. There was something here. I can almost taste it in my mouth. Evil was nearby. Elsewhere. Elusive.  
  
"Those kids are no older than me, plus some of them are Padawans. They're young and just having fun, which you really need to get into the habit of doing, Master. I never see you hang around your friends much, anymore."  
  
I ignored his comment and scanned the area slowly. Anakin touched my shoulder, making me quiver. I turned to push it away, but was met with the face of evil. That red and black face that killed my Master nine years ago. The face I watched plummet into that melting shaft cut in two by not my lightsaber, but Qui-Gon's. My knees shook, and my stomach sunk.  
  
I could almost feel my legs give in under me, but I managed to hold my ground. I could feel rage peak up from deep within my soul. The same rage I felt nine years ago. The Healers never could get rid of those memories. No. There was no way they could make me forget those memories. Of Qui- Gon's death. Of Sab's death. Of the possible future. Of that fiery pit leading to some end. Those memories will stay with me until I'm ready to let them go. And now isn't the time. I hid away those memories, because I knew they would mean something to me in the future. I wasn't ready to accept anything with Anakin still as my padawan.  
  
But the memories didn't seem to go away. They seemed to spring up and surround me, attack me with their pain and rage to make me feel I've lost the battle. What battle? Or was it a war? Why do I see millions and millions of soldiers before me? A war raging on to destroy the Republic forever. I pushed back the images and was met with darkness. I felt cold.  
  
Then I heard an energy wall drop, a lightsaber coming to life quickly only to clash with another lightsaber. I turned slightly to my left and saw a battle for survival. A battle of Jedi vs. Sith for the first time in over a millennium. I couldn't seem to breathe as I watched with horror of my Master fighting hard to send the Sith to his knees, but the Sith was just too strong and Qui-Gon was beginning to show signs of fatigue.  
  
I felt my grip tighten around the lightsaber hidden within the sleeves of my cloak. I watched, from where I stood, the battle raged on. A Jedi Master vs. a Dark Jedi Master. Who was to come out the victor? Tension in my throat increased and my muscles seemed to freeze. Then Darth Maul parried, but Qui-Gon blocked it quickly, pushing it away. No. But the second one ran past your guard and stuck you in the midsection. I shook.  
  
Qui-Gon gasped and dropped his lightsaber. I could feel my throat burn, heavily, but as I attempted to scream another piercing cry beat me to it. I turned my head slightly and saw behind an energy wall myself, nine years ago.  
  
The gate dropped and he flew forward toward the Sith with new fury and rage. The Sith was faster and blocked his first attack. I swallowed hard and saw the anger and rage in those eyes. My own eyes. I felt it then and I was feeling it now. It seemed to haunt me. I could feel it in my soul flowing freely through my body.  
  
I didn't know what to do. I thought quickly and ran to the injured Jedi.  
  
"Master?" I questioned doubtfully, kneeling down next to my Master.  
  
My hand wavered over my Master's shoulder. Then I touched it, but jumped back. It had to be some type of dream. I can touch him. This isn't right. What are you trying to tell me, Master? Force? Was this some cruel punishment for not letting you go?  
  
"No," a voice answered my unspoken question.  
  
I touched him again, tears forming. "Master, no. Please--"  
  
to be continued......


	6. Talk To Me

**_Part Six: Talk To Me_**

"It's too late for me, Obi-Wan, " he staggered to say.  
  
"No." I blinked away my tears.  
  
"It was never your fault, Obi-Wan." He sat up to look at me.  
  
I cocked my head in confusion. Footsteps approaching from behind me.  
  
"Hey, Qui-Gon." Anakin said with a smile.  
  
Qui-Gon smiled back. "Anakin. So good to see you again."  
  
"You were just talking to me a few minutes ago."  
  
Qui-Gon gave a small chuckle. "Has it only been that long? And still learning. But you will get there, Anakin. Just don't rush into it." "I won't, Master Qui-Gon."  
  
"Or at least try not to." Then he turned his attention back to me. "You seem a little confused, my old padawan."  
  
"No, Master." I looked down, ashamed.  
  
"You are," he said with no surprise. "And this was the only way you were going to talk to me again? To see me die again? Obi-Wan, c'mon. I know you've had better memories. There are far too many good memories to overrun the bad ones."  
  
I didn't hint a smile, but I was glad to see him again.  
  
"You just always ignore me now, Obi-Wan. Has the Healers truly destroyed those fun memories?"  
  
"No, Master."  
  
"And that's all I get? A 'No, Master.' Obi-Wan, even you must realize having fun is rewarding. What happened to you? You agree right, Anakin?"  
  
"Of course, Master Qui-Gon. But Master Obi-Wan doesn't seem to think it is," Anakin gave a kiddish smile.  
  
"What happened to the rebellious apprentice I've come to train for twelve years? You were always wanting to change things around the Temple. Now, it's like you're a whole different person. Someone I don't even know anymore."  
  
I looked at my padawan then back at my master.  
  
"You lack the sense of fun, Obi-Wan. Where has all those years of mishchief gone? You've gotten far too serious without me," Qui-Gon came out to say. "For years now, day in and day out you're always meditating or kept your head deep in those studies. I'm sure the Council has lighten up a little bit with Anakin in the Temple. And you, considering they don't have to worry about 'the Headstrong-Apprentice-To-Qui-Gon'. Or have times completely change to allow some fun in every now and then? What happened? Did you destroy the fun, Obi-Wan?"  
  
I didn't answer.  
  
"What's the matter, Obi-Wan?"  
  
I looked away, guilty. "Why are you here, Master?" My voice was so quiet.  
  
"So? This is what's it's all about, huh? Why am I here? Well, first off you don't talk to me anymore. Second, you haven't learned to let go of the past and third I don't even get a simple 'hello'?" He stared at me long and hard.  
  
I turned away, ashamed. I wanted to say so much, but the words just didn't want to come out.  
  
"Well, I'm glad to see you, too, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said with slight frustration. "Anakin?"  
  
"Yes, Master?" Anakin came to attention.  
  
"Has he always been like this?"  
  
"Since the day we returned to the Temple after you died."  
  
He nodded, with interest. "If we shall do so..." Qui-Gon winked.  
  
"Huh?" Anakin became confused. Qui-Gon's gaze lowered over me. "Oh, okay. ...Hey, Qui-Gon. What's up? How are you doing?"  
  
"I'm fine, 'Obi-Wan.' How's your apprentice?"  
  
"I don't know. He's been rather quiet lately. Too involved in his training to even take in the sights once and awhile."  
  
"It appears so. He is a tricky one, isn't he?"  
  
"Oh yeah, he can be. Did I mention about his hidden feelings?"  
  
My eyes grew wide, but my gaze never left the ground. Anakin, you wouldn't.  
  
Oh, I would, Master. Anakin smiled.  
  
Master. I whined turning to the older Jedi.  
  
You brought this in on yourself, Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon only smiled.  
  
But I.... I pleaded.  
  
"So, did he even tell you about his little love connections?" Anakin smiled mischieviously.  
  
"I have heard a few stories hands-on. But tell me, 'Obi-Wan' I thought attachment was forbidden."  
  
"Yeah, it is. But he's more of the 'One-Night-Stand' kinda guy. He hits the clubs any chance he gets and kicks it with all the girls. I hear he went to a club one night, found a whole lot of girls and..."  
  
"Okay. Okay. Shut up! No more. No more. I got the point." I broke in. Their gazes turned to meet my flushed, embarrassed face. I held my ground though.  
  
"Now, are you going to talk to me?" Qui-Gon asked.  
  
"Yes, Master," I nodded.  
  
I saw a thin smile pass his face. It was then I couldn't hold my composure anymore. The tears fell, abruptly and I lunged myself into his arms. I could feel his strong bond through the Force. It was like we had never parted all those years. He wrapped a tight arm around me.  
  
"I've missed you so much, Master." I said through my tears.  
  
"I've always been with you, Obi-Wan. Through the Force in both your mind and your heart. Though, I am physically gone, I will always be there. Our bond will never be broken unless a truth we cannot fix comes between us. You are my son and always will be. And you are also a Jedi Knight."  
  
I buried my face into his tunic. He stroked my hair like he had done so many times when I was younger to comfort me. Father and son were reunited once again. I pulled away gently and sat up straight. Qui-Gon leaned back on his arms and looked at the two Jedi standing before him. A bright and wide smile fell across his face. It sent a warm chill down my back, but also a confused look appeared on my face.  
  
"Something wrong, Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon broke the silence.  
  
"No. Not really. But my question for you is, why are you here? I thought a Jedi was suppose to lose his identity once he joined the Force? But you didn't appear to--"  
  
Qui-Gon silenced me, quickly. "Too many questions. That's how you always were, Obi-Wan. Headstrong and longing to find answers to everything. You always lacked living in the Living Force. To live in the moment, to not look so far ahead, or so far in the past. Actually, that statement is true, a Jedi is suppose to lose their identity once they become one with the Force. But it never said anything about altering it a little. Just think of me as another bump in the Force, but one you can see. A conscious or angel-- if that's what they seem to be teaching the common people on this planet these days."  
  
I nodded. It was good to hear some encouraging words from my old master, but this was weird. The Jedi were always taught that once a Jedi dies, their body usually disappeared and became one with the Force. That's how it always was, but the thing that troubles me to this day was that Qui-Gon didn't die like most Jedi. He never disappeared. I held his motionless body in my arms, rocking it slowly until bodyguards found us in that room. But he never died like he was suppose to.  
  
To be continued....


	7. Did You Accept Your Death?

**_Part Seven: Did You Accept Your Death?_**

Qui-Gon noticed the troubled look on my face. "Is something wrong, Obi- Wan?"  
  
"You never truly died, Mas-- Qui-Gon," I noticed the interested look in his eyes. "You didn't die like other Jedi!" I got to my feet. "Did you truly not accept your death?"  
  
Qui-Gon exchanged looks with Anakin before getting to his feet. He stood over me like a sheet of protection, but now my hands shook, the very hands that killed that Sith Lord. Qui-Gon extended a hand to touch my shoulder, but I pulled away at the last second.  
  
"Did you truly not accept your death?" I repeated.  
  
He didn't even answer me, but he felt sorry for me. The pain that still shook me to this day.  
  
"Why? Why did you have to die?!" I cried.  
  
"Obi-Wan--" he tried again.  
  
"No." I pulled away, tears escaped my eyes. "You could of been alive if only I was faster. Got to you before it was too late, but you rushed into it. You didn't wait for me. But if I was faster, you'd still be alive, Master. But you're not. And it was my fault."  
  
Anakin quickly got to his feet. He approached me, but Qui-Gon held him back. "Obi-Wan, it was never your fault."  
  
"It was my fault. Don't even try to say it wasn't it because it was!" I didn't even try to look him in the eyes.  
  
"No, don't say that, Obi-Wan. It wasn't your fault. And you're right, I didn't wait for you. But I had hoped you'd become stronger because of it. That battle truly proved your skills as a Jedi, and you should be proud of that. But I can't expect you to always be there and that Sith had to be taken out, even if it meant taking the life of another."  
  
I took a deep breath. "But did it have to be you?"  
  
Qui-Gon looked down. I looked over him to see the shock in my apprentice. I could tell he wanted to say something, but was afraid if he did it would send me into one of my rage attacks. Though I had them under control, if anyone was in my way, it was never a pretty sight. It's what sparked up my rebellious side.  
  
"Sometimes a Jedi must be prepared to protect another for the sake of saving many lives," Qui-Gon took a few steps forward. "I know it is hard for you, Obi-Wan. But it is the life of a Jedi. We are the keepers of peace and justice. We must protect those we serve. And I served you as a Master. We served Queen Amidala as protectors."  
  
"But I was your apprentice. I wasn't ready to take that step into knighthood without you."  
  
Again, Qui-Gon's gaze met the ground, but quickly reached the sight of my tear-streaked face. He gently touched my shoulder, sending a burst of the Force into me. I didn't even flinch, but took in the comfort of the bond.  
  
He spoke to me quietly. "I was there....Ben."  
  
To be continued.....


	8. Let It Go

**_Part Eight: Let It Go_**

I looked up at him again. My eyes filled with tears. Ben. You called me Ben, Master?  
  
It is that of your true name, is it not?  
  
I nodded. But you never used it unless you truly meant something--  
  
And I did. I was there with you when you took the first steps into knighthood, but I wasn't physically there. I was there in your heart and through the Force. I've always been there.  
  
The tears dropped, freely. I looked down again, as Qui-Gon's hand met my other shoulder. He patted them gently. "I was always there. But now you must learn to let it go and live life again. I'm not sure if you remember how since that day. Listen to Anakin. He has much to say."  
  
I peered at the apprentice kicking the ground underneath him, bored. I nodded firmly. "I will, Qui-Gon."  
  
"And learn to live a little. I'm sure your friends at the Temple have been trying to get you to go out and have some fun."  
  
"They have, Master." I chuckled softly.  
  
"Well, go out. Have fun. Who cares what the Council think? Leave your mark as I have, Ben. It doesn't matter if they think your completely insane like me. Let them think that. I was your master, wasn't I?"  
  
I chuckled again. "Yeah."  
  
"So, act like me. Maybe not all the time. Be yourself too, but if you want people to listen, you're going to have to find other ways besides locking them out completely. You can't always be by the book. Don't be. The galaxy doesn't follow the same rules we do, Ben."  
  
I nodded.  
  
"And finally, let go. Just let it go. Talk to Anakin if you have to. You can't keep those emotions, those feelings bottled up inside you, or it will lead you to a place you may never come back from. The temptations of the Dark Side, as it may be, to not let these go,will leave scars that could never be erased." I nodded again. "You know exactly how the power of the Dark Side feels and its effects. It's powerful, I know. Very tempting and so easy to go to, but that should never be in your thoughts. Meditate, if you have to. Find that place where no one else can go but yourself. Stay there and always have it in mind when it comes to looking at the pain. That pain will not go away if you can't let go. I know how much you kick yourself, by not saving me, but I could never ask for a better apprentice, to give me that courage to believe that anything was possible. It was you, Ben. No one else showed me that but you, my son. It was you that kept me strong as I became older."  
  
I closed my eyes again, as several more tears escaped them. It was so soothing to hear his encouragement, those words. But nothing was as strong as 'Ben' or 'my son'. It had such significance to it, I couldn't help but let those tears fall.  
  
"Now, my son, Anakin is yours. Train him as I did you and he will become a fine addition to the Order. Treat him like a son, not like an apprentice or the rest of his training will be a living hell."  
  
I buried my tear-streaked face onto the elder man's tunic, again. "Yes, Master."  
  
Anakin walked up beside us in attempts to get some recognition. Qui-Gon broke the embrace and placed a warm hand on Anakin's shoulder. I wiped away the wetness on my face with the sleeve of my tunic.  
  
Qui-Gon gave us that warm, calming smile. "Now, Anakin. I expect you to listen to Obi-Wan here. Treat each other with respect and listen to each other when time permits."  
  
"Of course, Master," Anakin's face lit with a smile.  
  
I smiled back at him.  
  
"Each of you have something to say, and it's important to let each other know that. I don't want you two to look at each other and not really consider yourselves as Master and Apprentice. I want you to create a bond more like Obi-Wan and myself. If that doesn't seem to work, drive each other to go crazy if you have to. I don't care. I don't want the two of you to feel so miserable without me. I am happy. And the two of you should be too."  
  
"I'm happy." Anakin raised a hand.  
  
"Well, that's good. Besides the training, right?" Qui-Gon asked as Anakin nodded. "Well, then it's all good. Obi-Wan, are you happy?"  
  
I didn't say anything.  
  
Again, their eyes bared down on me. A sly smile passed my face. And Anakin had a hand coming my way to push me back, playfully. "Sure, why wouldn't I be? I have Anakin, who I can clearly say acts like me. And you, Qui-Gon, as my guide right along with the Force. The Temple providing me with a home. The friends I have to show me some good times. And a council who worries I am acting like my Master too damn much."  
  
A bright smile passed the elder Jedi. "Well, looks like I did my job. But that's what I'm talking about, Obi-Wan. Don't be afraid to say anything and keep Anakin informed some of the time." I nodded. Qui-Gon then turned his attention to Anakin. "That goes for you as well, Anakin. Make sure to listen to Obi-Wan here as much as you do to the Force, but allow some space between the two of you."  
  
We nodded firmly.  
  
"May the Force be with you both," Qui-Gon bowed.  
  
"May the Force be with you, Master Qui-Gon," Anakin returned the gesture.  
  
"The Force be with you always, father." I said quietly.  
  
I saw a twinkle in the elder man's eye. A lone tear streaked his face. His figure was becoming ghostly. "Never underestimate the powers of the Dark Side, Obi-Wan. Anakin. It may be strong, but you are stronger. The very rewards of the Jedi are much better than that of a Sith. Always remember that," his voice faded.  
  
To be continued....


	9. Fighting The Past

**_Part Nine: Fighting The Past_**

A long silence fell over me and my apprentice. I held back the tears this time as I saw the image of a lightsaber fly past my eyes. I turned my attention to the battle from earlier, all those years ago. The young Jedi, calling on the Force, flipped over the evil Sith with a new lightsaber in hand and struck the Sith with a deadly blow ensuring death. The Sith staggered back, and plummeted into the pit, sliced in two. Deactivating the lightsaber, the young Jedi rushed to the aid of his Master, but disappeared.  
  
My hands shook frantically. The rage of that battle was growing inside me, screaming to come out. I fought it back, pleading to never feel such rage again.  
  
"Master?" Anakin questioned, holding out his hand.  
  
I lowered my head, eyes narrow, full of fire and rage. I looked up only to see the faces of an evil red-and-black menace around me. The face that slaughtered my Master for the pleasure of destruction and revenge. It sent a chill down my spine. The very voice and image that called out to me, Anakin, was now a blur. The evil face surrounded me, I was trapped. I saw the image of a fiery pit. Darkness consumed my vision.  
  
Without even thinking, I pulled out my lightsaber and ignited it. The blue blade became a blur of light, trying to come in contact with everything I saw. Everyone was in panic, but the Jedi Knights in the area sensed the danger, tending to it quickly. It was like another type of Force was controlling my every move. But I was in pain. I could feel the pain in my heart. For the battle with the Sith Lord. For the pain in losing my true love.  
  
"Master, no. Stop. Don't give into your anger," Anakin cried out. "Not that anger, Master."  
  
"It was my fault." I heard myself say.  
  
"No. It wasn't. Stop."  
  
I ignored him and continued to swing at things that weren't even there. But the faces, those evil faces were there. They have to be there. There is no other explanation. Why else would they be haunting me? It can't be a dream. It's not a dream. I could feel the darkness.  
  
Control you must have, Obi-Wan. Yoda's voice demanded in my head.  
  
Ben, don't do it! Let it go. It wasn't your fault. Sab's voice called out.  
  
Ben, no. It wasn't your fault. You must stop or it will only make things worse. Qui-Gon argued.  
  
"No, I won't listen to you! You just don't understand. Things have gotten worse." I cried out.  
  
I just couldn't control my rage. I just had to destroy this evil. This evil before my eyes in every corner. In every shadow. I wanted it all to stop. To die. But it wasn't going away. It only backed away, attacking when it seemed to have the chance, but I didn't let it through.  
  
I could feel arms around me, holding me and pinning my lightsaber down, but I slipped away from the grasps to see a blurred image of my apprentice. Or was it? He could sense my pain. It almost felt like he was feeding off of it, but wasn't necessarily doing it himself. It was something else inside him. Something else inside me.  
  
: Fall. Come to the Dark Side and the Jedi will all fall because of it. :  
  
"No. I won't fall." I shook my head. "I can't. I won't give into my anger."  
  
: The Jedi will soon feel my wrath. But if you turn now, it will be so much quicker. :  
  
I pushed away the voice.  
  
Control you must have control, Anakin. Yoda's guiding words came into Anakin's head.  
  
"Stop it." Anakin called out in fury.  
  
Anakin forced away the voice and fought the images of a fiery pit. The lava flowing freely like a river, leading to some end. He saw an ancient building grow in flames, many voices screamed inside full of terror.  
  
Control. You must learn control, Obi-Wan. Yoda's guiding words came back into my head.  
  
"Stop it, please. I can't. I won't."  
  
: Obi-Wan. I can taste your fear. Your faith in young Anakin is far too strong. But he will fall too. Fall quicker than he can learn from you. :  
  
Again I forced the voices into the confides of my soul and managed to grab hold of a person, pinning him down. He fought to break free, but froze as the lightsaber wavered over his neck.  
  
: Yes. Give into that anger. :  
  
I caught my breath, feeling the lightsaber raise high over my head for the deadly blow. I pulled it down, but a blue lightsaber stopped the deadly assault. My eyes followed the blade up to the opponent that was so brave enough to challenge me.  
  
"Don't do it, Master." Anakin said low.  
  
The fire in my eyes diminished and my shields dropped. The evil subsided as I heard its evil voice cry out in anger.  
  
: No. You will fall like the many before you. Master Qui-Gon was apart of that chain. He was almost destroyed by the Dark Side because of you. But you had to save him. Not this time. This time you're going to lose and no one will be able to save you. :  
  
I could see the concern in my apprentice's eye, but signs of hate. Of a black-masked madman. I blinked, slowly. The image disappeared.  
  
"Don't do it, Master." Anakin repeated.  
  
I pulled away and peered over my shoulder at the shaken figure. It was that of a nine-year-old padawan. My entire body shook cold as I dropped the lightsaber. I fought back my tears and stormed out of the plaza. Anakin deactivated his lightsaber and grabbed mine.  
  
He turned to my lone, shaken self walking off in the distance. "Don't give into your hate, Master. It may be too late for me. But not you," Anakin said, quietly. "Never for you, Obi-Wan. You are a true Jedi."  
  
I disappeared beyond the walkway. Anakin followed. A heavy breathing followed his footsteps, until he was out of the plaza.  
  
THE END  
  
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